Add & Subtract - Forgiving Self

Today we look at Forgiving Self

 
ADD UNDERSTANDING

All of us have parts we dislike, judge as wrong, would like to get rid of. Deep in our psyche lie aspects of self so endarkened, so stuck in fear-guilt-rage, we can barely acknowledge them.

If we are alive to not just have fun but to learn, grow and evolve, then we need mistakes. We need errors, struggles, challenges. We need to discover what works, what does not; what we like and don’t like; what moves us closer or further away from Joy.

We need to experience the contrast between love and not-love, light and dark, good and bad. Only in this way can we come to consciously know.

This means we will make errors that effect us and others, and others will make errors that effect us and them. Shit will happen. Compost heaps will be formed. We will normally wind up with plenty that remains unforgiven within us.

Suggestion: Take pause, still the breath, drop in. Get a sense of a part or parts of yourself that you have buried, rejected, denied.

What if these parts are the most important parts of you? What if they are brave parts that have gone into deep experience to allow our growth? What if they are gifts just not fully composted, processed, realised and unwrapped as yet?

Notice how you feel towards your shadow parts with this different way of understanding.

David Hawkins on understanding leading to acceptance:

“We now become aware of the inner innocence behind the frantic, fear-driven struggles…

All that we did was done because we just didn’t know any better at the time.

In the state of acceptance, it is possible to forgive our own past… and to heal past resentments. It is also possible to see the hidden gift in past events… to create a different context from which to view the past and thereby heal it.

With the final completion of the level of acceptance, we feel secure about the future and can move on to the levels of love and peace”

Source: Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

SUBTRACT JUDGEMENT

It is easy to go to judgment about our errors because of the pain they cause. We get stuck in the shit, forgetting it is an essential part of experiential growth.

Religions have often taken this judgement to professional levels of moralising and condemnation: “you are bad, evil, unworthy because of your mistakes and human urges. Give us money and power, and we will ensure your punishment is less severe!"

But now we bring understanding and acceptance to our ‘sins’, realising that we are meant to ‘miss the mark’ repeatedly. We must stray off the path to consciously learn where the path lies.

We do not grow despite our mistakes but because of them.

Final words from Doreen Virtue:

“Forgive yourself for what you think you’ve done or not done. At every moment, you had your reasons for all of your actions and decisions. You’ve always done the best that you could. Forgive yourself”