Add & Subtract - Fathers

Today's theme is Fathers

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters” George Herbert

“When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to find out how much he'd learned in three years” Frank Butler

ADD PROTECTION

The masculine expression of love in a parent creates safety and security for the child. Good fathering mirrors the unconditional love, patience and strength of Divine Father. No pressure, dads!

We all have access to the masculine within us. Whether raising a son or daughter, or reparenting our inner child, the qualities of loving structure, rational clarity and fair firmness are essential for them to feel held, valued and contained.

Biologically, a father is a man, a human adult male. But the qualities of fathering - love-based masculine care and protection - can be expressed by anyone. Let us celebrate the healthy masculine today, honouring the men who have helped bring children into the world and lovingly raise them, and the masculine fathering quality we all contain.

“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection” Sigmund Freud

“Listen, there is no way any true man is going to let children live around him in his home and not discipline and teach, fight and mould them until they know all he knows. His goal is to make them better than he is. Being their friend is a distant second to this” Victor Devlin

“My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it” Clarence Budington Kelland

SUBTRACT MAN BASHING

Our society has become more aware of male violence, sexual abuse and toxic masculinity in general. Rightly so, these behaviours are no longer ignored or tolerated.

However, the pendulum has swung so far across, that it has become challenging for men to be involved with women and children (even with other men at times) in naturally masculine ways without negative judgment. Somehow only the feminine, nurturing aspect of parenting is okay now.

It is the father who lifts baby above his head, wrestles on the carpet, encourages the child to climb high into that tree. Loving fathering teaches healthy risk-taking, to grow courage and confidence for life, and the capacity to fight for one’s rights when necessary.

Not all anger is aggression. Not all male boisterousness is violence. Let us honour healthy, powerful masculinity today.

“My father used to say that it's never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, 'You never know what you can accomplish until you try” Michael Jordan

“My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass'; 'We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply. 'We're raising boys.’" Harmon Killebrew

"You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father’s" Robert Frost