Add & Subtract - Our Shadow

Today's theme is Our Shadow

Shadows are cast by solid objects, clusters of matter. In our psyche we have stuck energies of emotions, beliefs and unintegrated experiences, which cast shadows within. These miasms show up symptomatically as mental, emotional and physical pain.

If we have a broken bone, we flinch if anyone tries to touch it. In the same way, we go into resistance and defence when anyone or any event ‘touches’ our psychological wounds.

ADD COMPASSION

Traumatic, highly challenging and stressful life events can leave us with residue so deep, difficult and overwhelming that we can hardly bear it. To survive, we hide it behind firewalls of denial, dissociation, projection, addictive behaviours…

Just as we would ideally choose to bring empathy and compassionate care to another’s wounding, and hope for the same in return, we need to move towards our own pain with a gentle embrace. Remember, it is love that heals.

Suggestion: think of some sensitive area in your life you are aware of but is as yet unresolved. Imagine mustering as much love, light and kindness as you can, and then approaching this pained part of self.

Keep breathing, stay in your body, as you extend warmth. See if it gradually allows you to gently hold it in love.

Notice how this shadow part has responded, and how you now feel.

Psychotherapist and author Robert Augustus Masters:

“Make your consideration of your shadow signs a compassionate one, especially when parts of it stir up shame in you…Developing empathy for the parts of us that are in our shadow allows us to connect more deeply with them”

Source: Bringing Your Shadow Out of the Dark: Breaking Free from the Hidden Forces That Drive You

SUBTRACT JUDGEMENT

If we have had an easier life, and been blessed with consistent, patient, supportive love from others, we may have processed most experiences and have less shadow (apart from the existential trauma of incarnating!).

Most people have had to deal with significant challenges, and often on their own. To cope with this unprocessed ‘compost’, we may have needed to unconsciously utilise powerful defence mechanisms, different ‘firewalls’ as mentioned above.

Our psychological strategies help us survive but later interfere with our ideal functioning. Such defences include being withdrawn, unavailable, irrational, obsessive; misusing/overusing food, sex, TV, social media; addictions to alcohol and other drugs, gambling, excessive risk-taking.

Suggestion: consider a behaviour you feel judgement about, something you know you ‘shouldn’t do’ but end up doing anyway. Understanding that the behaviour may have been a part of dealing with your trauma, can you feel differently towards it? How might seeing the ways it originally helped reduce the judging?

American writer and Buddhist monk Jack Cornfield:

“When we struggle to change ourselves we, in fact, only continue the patterns of self-judgement and aggression. We keep the war against ourselves alive”

Source: A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life